honesty in online dating

 In the case of the ads, how forthright (and honest) are people when it comes to sharing their personal information? And, in the case of responses, what kind of information in personal ads is considered the most (and least) desirable? 

Two economists and a psychologist recently banded together to answer these questions. Ali Hortacsu, Gunter J. Hitsch, and Dan Ariely analyzed the data from one of the mainstream dating sites, focusing on roughly 30,000 users, half in Boston and half in San Diego. Fifty-seven percent of the users were men, and the median age range for all users was twenty-six to thirty-five. Although they represented an adequate racial mix to reach some conclusions about race, they were predominantly white. 

They were also a lot richer, taller, skinnier, and better looking than average. That, at least, is what they wrote about themselves. More than 4 percent of the online daters claimed to earn more than $200,000 a year, whereas less than 1 percent of typical Internet users actually earn that much, suggesting that three of the four big earners were exaggerating. Male and female users typically reported that they are about an inch taller than the national average, but the women typically said they weighed about twenty pounds less than the national average. 

Most impressively, fully 70 percent of the women claimed above average looks, including 24 percent claiming very good looks. The online men too were gorgeous: 67 percent called themselves above average, including 21 percent with very good looks. This leaves only about 30 percent of the users with average looks, including a paltry 1 percent with less than average looks- which suggests that the average online dater is either a fabulist, a narcissist, or simply resistant to the meaning of average. (Or perhaps they are all just realist: as any real estate agent knows, the typical house is not charming or fantastic, but unless you say it is, no one will even bother to take a look.) Twenty-eight percent of the women on the site said they were blond, a number far beyond the national average, which indicates a lot of dying, lying, or both. 

Some users were blazingly honest. Eight percent of the men - about 1 in every 12 - conceded that they were married, with half of these 8 percent reporting that they were happily married. But the fact that they were honest does not mean they were rash. Of the 258 happily married men in the sample, only 9 chose to post a picture of themselves. The reward of gaining a mistress was evidently outweighed by the risk of having your wife discover your personal ad. (And what were you doing on that website? The husband might bluster, undoubtedly to little avail.) 

Getting a date is hard enough as it is. Fifty-seven percent of the men who post ads don't receive even one e-mail; 23 percent of the women don't get a single response. The traits that do draw big response, meanwhile, will not be a big surprise to anyone with even a passing knowledge of the sexes. In fact, the preferences expressed by online daters fit snugly with the most common stereotypes about men and women. The gulf between the information we publicly proclaim and the information we know as true is often vast. (Or, put in a more familiar way: we say one thing and do another.) This can be seen in personal relationships and, of course, politics.